Always
by Rachel Wilder
Summary: Rayna takes a moment at Deacon's bedside to share her dreams of their wedding day. Takes place after the Season 3 finale.
1. Chapter 1

Rayna walked into the room and pulled the chair up next to Deacon's bed. She slid her hand in his and looked at him. He was still asleep, the tube finally out of his mouth, his chest rising and falling regularly, a relaxed look to his face. The nurse had said he'd probably sleep until morning as the anesthesia worked its way out of his system. She looked up at the monitor, its steady beep comforting her.

"You did great, babe," she said as she smoothed her thumb across his hand. "They said it might take you little while to wake up, but I don't want to waste any time."

She laid her head down, resting it against his arm, thinking of all the years she'd dreamt of being this close to him and now they would be, forever.

"So, I told you I'd been dreaming of our wedding, and truth be told, I've been dreaming of it for years, probably twenty years. I mean, the people involved have changed over the years, but one thing's always been the same-you've always been there, babe."

She looked up at his face. The creases were deeper than when they met, the touches of gray just starting to appear on his temples. Life hadn't been easy for either of them, but Deacon wore more of it on his face and body.

"So, I'm thinking we do it somewhere outside. Maybe at the cabin? I know, you're thinking that's our private place, but honestly, I want this to be pretty private. You'd be okay with that, wouldn't you?

"I mean, the girls, of course, and my sister. And Scarlett. And Bucky. Would you want Gunnar? I think maybe Scarlett would. And Avery. And Juliette, I suppose. I mean, I just didn't even have time to tell you, but that girl has gone and done it again. She blew up at me and I think she quit the label, but I know you love her and she's your friend, so she's invited. But she's not singing anything."

Rayna brought Deacon's hand up to her lips and kissed it softly. "To be honest, as long as you and the girls are there, I don't care about anything else.

"Of course, someone will have to marry us, and if Daphne is my maid of honor and Maddie is standing up for you, well, then I guess we could get Scarlett ordained online or maybe Bucky? I mean, we do have options." Rayna looked down at Deacon and smiled. "I think the girls were kind of hoping for a big wedding, but at this point I think they'll be happy for us no matter what. They love you so much, Deacon.

"I think I'll just wear something pretty, nothing too fancy. I've had a couple of wedding dresses and I'm over that. But I want you in a vest. I love how you look in a vest, Deacon Claybourne. And boots. You'll wear boots. Heck, maybe I'll wear boots. And I'm gonna have a whole bunch of wildflowers, just like you love. Maybe the girls and I can go pick them from that field over by the cabin.

"And we'll need music. I'd like to think I'd sing something for you, maybe write something. But I don't know, babe. I might be a bit of a mess that day. You know how I get..."

She laid her head down on his arm and chest again, her arm snaking around as much of him as she could reach and just listened to his heart.

"I was so afraid all those years to think about that day too much, cause it would have just broken me apart if it never happened. And it's not about the day, either. It's about our life, the one that we're going to have together. I think that's why this has been so hard. I just...I just never thought we'd lose that chance. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that. I prayed that somehow you'd be mine and I'd be yours, that we'd have always.

"So, I can't wait to come walking up that aisle to you, with our girls around us and to say those words again, that we love and honor one another, that we'll be together no matter what, for better or worse…"

She sat for a moment, the silence interrupted only by the beep of the heart monitor. Her head was tempted to think about all the things going on outside the room...Beverly, Teddy, Juliette, but as they did, Deacon's fingers tightened around hers.

"I vote Bucky," Deacon interrupted, his voice rough.

"Oh, you do?" she answered, smiling. "God, babe, it's so good to hear your voice."

"And don't worry about Juliette. You'll work it out," he replied, his eyes still closed.

Rayna smiled at him, then leaned over and pressed her lips to his.

"And I think you're right," Deacon started, coughing slightly. "You wouldn't make it through a song." His eyes began to open a bit and a smile slowly crossed his face. "But I'll sing one. I already wrote it."

"You did, did you?"

"Of course," he replied. "I've been thinking about this day for a long time, too, Ray and now, you're mine and I'm yours. Always."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Rayna woke up in the lounger next to Deacon's bed to find him watching her.

"That can't make for a very good night of sleep," he observed as she sat up and stretched.

"It's okay for a couple of nights," she replied. She stood up and walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," he responded. "Still feeling a little out of it."

She leaned in and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you, too, babe," he answered.

The door pushed open and Caleb Rand walked in. "How are you feeling this morning, Deacon?"

"Lucky to be alive," he replied. Rayna slipped her hand in his and smiled at him.

The doctor moved around to the other side of the bed and looked at Deacon's chart. "Things are looking really good. The liver is functioning well and your other systems are also on track. We're gonna get you up today and moving around, have you walk a little bit."

"Can I see Beverly?" Deacon asked.

Rayna looked over at him and gave a slight head shake.

"Uh, yeah, we can probably make that happen, but later-maybe tomorrow. We need you both to focus on your own recovery."

"I just wanted to make sure she knows how grateful I am," Deacon replied.

"I'm going to have a nurse come in and change the dressing on your incision and then, if you're feeling up to it, we can help you get up and move around a little bit," Caleb answered.

"Like to the bathroom on my own?" Deacon asked.

Caleb smiled. "Yes, we can probably make that happen."

"Good," Deacon replied. "I'm ready for that."

"Okay, well, I'll send the nurse in. If you need anything else, just let me know," the doctor said as he headed toward the door.

Rayna stood up and followed him out into the hall.

"Thank you, I wanted him to maybe just get another day to recover before we tell him about Beverly. Do you have any news?" Rayna asked as they stood outside the door to Deacon's room.

"I understand," Caleb responded. "And I know Scarlett wants to come down to check on her uncle as well. They did confirm it was an aneurysm, which was complicated by a supplement she was taking that had thinned her blood. This made it harder for the surgeons to stop the bleeding once it started."

Rayna nodded. "Deacon will take this hard. He'll feel responsible."

"Scarlett already does," Caleb responded. "I've been trying to tell her that we couldn't do anything about something Beverly didn't tell us about, but she hasn't been able to let herself off the hook."

"Well, tell her I'm thinking of her and praying for her mama. I'll keep my eye on Deacon and let's see if we can't get at least another day before we tell him," Rayna suggested.

"Sounds like a good plan," Caleb answered. "I'm going to put in the orders for the dressing change and getting Deacon up, but will put a note to stay on this end of the floor."

"Did they say anything about letting me take a shower?" Deacon asked when she came back into the room.

"I think you need to get rid of a few tubes, first," Rayna replied. "But I can see if I can't get someone in here to give you a bed bath."

"Any cute ones out there?" he asked, a smile crossing his face.

"Stop," she said, swatting at his arm. Her phone buzzed and she picked it up. "Well, this is definitely good news. The girls are on their way up. You ready for some visitors?"

"Definitely," Deacon replied as he straightened the blankets out on his bed. "I can't think of any two faces I'd like to see more-since you're here."

"I'm just gonna go meet them down at the elevator and show them the way to the room," Rayna explained as she started for the door. "You need anything?"

"Nah," Deacon said as he shook his head. "Just to have my girls with me."

* * *

Rayna headed down the hallway, getting to the elevators as the door opened up and Daphne and Maddie walked out with Bucky.

"Hey, y'all...Deacon's looking forward to seeing you!" she greeted them. "You doing okay this morning?"

Maddie nodded and Daphne looked down at the floor. They had barely had time to talk about Teddy.

She pulled the girls close to her. "I know this is a hard time. And after your visit, we're gonna sit down and talk about what's going on with your dad." She stepped back so that she could look at the girls. "I haven't told Deacon yet. Or about your Aunt Bev. So, can we go in and have a good visit with him and wait until tomorrow to talk to him about that stuff? I just want him to get a little bit stronger before we put any more worries on him."

"Of course, Mom," Maddie agreed.

"Daphne?" Rayna asked her youngest.

Daphne nodded.

"Okay, let's go," Rayna responded as she led them down to Deacon's room.

* * *

Rayna stood back and watched as the girls hugged Deacon. She could see that they were doing everything to cover their own pain about Teddy as they checked to see how Deacon was doing after his surgery.

Maddie had brought her guitar and they sat and played a couple of songs for them. After about a half hour, the nurse appeared at the door.

"Hey, guys, the nurse needs to take a look at Deacon, so let's give him some privacy, okay?" Rayna said.

"Your dad bring you guys up here? Tell him thanks for me," Deacon said as Maddie moved to put her guitar away.

"We will," Daphne said, her face tight and voice wavering slightly.

"I'm so glad to see you, Dad," Maddie said as she gave him one more hug. "I love you."

"Me too, girl. Y'all come back later, okay?" Deacon asked.

The girls agreed and moved out into the hall with Rayna.

"How'd we do?" Daphne asked.

"You did great," Rayna answered.

* * *

"Girls seem a little off, don't they?" Deacon asked when she came back in.

Rayna shrugged. "I think we're all tired and a little off after everything," she responded. "Everything okay under those bandages?"

"Seems like it," Deacon replied. "They said I could get out of bed and take a short walk down the hallway in a few minutes."

"So soon?" Rayna asked. "Don't you have to recover more?"

Deacon shrugged. "Sounds like gettin' up and moving is part of the recovery. Everything has to be operational again before they let me out of here."

Rayna looked at him, confused, then laughed. "Ah, yes...operational. Well, if walking is what does that, then we should probably get in a lap or two."

"Maybe we'll run into Scarlett and Beverly," Deacon said. "I can't imagine she's the model patient, if I know anything about my sister."

"Maybe," Rayna said as she sat down in the lounger.

"Everything okay, Ray?" Deacon asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, I think I'm just tired."

"You should go home tonight, with the girls. I'm sure they need their mama and there are plenty of folks around here to look in on me and make sure I'm doing okay."

"I kinda like lookin' after you," Rayna responded. "You firing me already?"

"Nah, I think I'll keep you," Deacon replied. "So, this wedding...you think we can pull it off soon?"

"Is that what you want?" Rayna asked.

"As soon as me and Bev are up and out of the hospital, I can't see any reason to wait," Deacon answered. "So, I guess we better get our plans together."

"Guess so," Rayna responded, her voice growing quiet.

"You gettin' cold feet on me?" Deacon asked.

Rayna looked over at him. She'd wanted to wait, but maybe that wasn't the best thing to do. Deacon was doing so well, maybe it would be better to just tell him.

"Is everything okay?" Deacon asked.

Rayna took a deep breath. "Deacon, we need to talk about Beverly."


	3. Chapter 3

Deacon was silent, his jaw tight as Rayna explained about Beverly's aneurysm and subsequent brain bleed.

"So, she's…" he started.

"She's unconscious, in a coma," Rayna finished. "They just aren't sure. She could come out of it fine…"

"Or not," Deacon said.

"Or not," Rayna echoed.

"Shit," Deacon said, dropping his head in his hands. "Bev...why...why…" He started to cry.

Rayna moved over to sit on the bed next to him. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted you to focus on your healing, cause that's important too." She pulled him into her arms and held him.

"I want to go see her," Deacon said, his voice muffled against her body. She loosened her embrace and reached up to brush the tears away from his face. "I don't know, babe. I think we should wait until the morning."

"I need to see her, Ray. Can you...can you just go see how we can do that?" Deacon asked, his hand gripping hers tightly.

"Sure, babe. I can do that," she replied. She stood up next to the bed. "Let me just go talk to the nurse and see what they can do."

* * *

Rayna pushed Deacon slowly down the hallway toward the ICU where they were monitoring Beverly. "They said you could go in for a couple of minutes, but there's a lot of equipment and staff, so we can't stay long."

Deacon nodded as the door to the room opened and Scarlett walked out.

"Oh, Deacon," she said as she came over and gave her uncle a hug. "I'm so glad you're doin' so well. Rayna's been comin' by and lettin' me know how you're gettin' on."

"How you doin', girl?" he asked as she stood back up.

Scarlett shrugged. "Been better. But Momma's holdin' her own and there's still a chance she'll wake up."

"I'm sorry, Scarlett," Deacon apologized, taking her hand in his. "I guess we knew there were risks, but I didn't really think…"

"None of us did," Scarlett interrupted him. "And she wanted to do this for you, so we have to just be grateful for her gift and be here for her as she recovers."

Deacon nodded.

Scarlett pushed the door open and Rayna wheeled his chair in next to the bed. Beverly was on full life support, with a tube in her mouth and monitors everywhere. Her head was bandaged where they'd had to open her skull to control the bleeding.

Rayna looked from Deacon to his sister. Beverly hadn't been her favorite person, but she never wanted her to be suffering this way. Deacon took his sister's hand in his own.

"Sorry to see you here, like this, Sis. You did a great job with the surgery. The liver is doin' really well. Thank you again. And I'm gonna be here, long as you need, until we get you back on your feet again as well."

They sat for a moment, until a nurse came into the room.

"I'm sorry, but I need to take some blood," she explained.

"Thank you," Deacon said to the nurse as Rayna pulled his wheelchair back into the hallway.

"Thanks for coming down, Uncle Deacon," Scarlett said. "I just feel like she knows when we're here. I'm hopin' they're gonna move her out of ICU soon so I can stay with her longer. Right now it's just for a little bit each hour."

"Are you getting any rest?" Rayna asked Scarlett.

Scarlett shrugged. "I've slept some on the couch in Caleb's office. He keeps wanting me to come home with him, but it's hard for me to leave her here like this."

Rayna reached out and touched Scarlett's arm. "Take a break, honey. Deacon's here, I'm here...we can all take turns looking after her."

"Thank you, Rayna," Scarlett replied. "I think...maybe I'll go home for a bit, at least get cleaned up and get some new clothes."

"I thought that looked familiar," Deacon teased her.

Scarlett looked down at her outfit. "Like you'd actually know. You need anything if I'm at the house?"

Deacon shook his head. "I'm good," he replied.

Scarlett leaned down and kissed him. "I'm so thankful to see you doin' so well, truly, Deacon. And I know Momma would be happy, too."

* * *

Rayna pushed Deacon's wheelchair back into his hospital room. She offered him her arm as he eased out of the chair and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Come join me?" he asked her as he patted the bed next to him.

"You should really lie down," she replied. "You're still recovering."

Deacon lay down on the bed, his body close the edge. He patted the empty space next to him again. "Come join me."

Rayna smiled, slipped off her shoes and walked to the other side of the bed. She dropped the railing and lay down on the mattress next to him. "Think we're gonna get busted?" she asked as they both lay on their backs looking up at the ceiling.

"How are you doing, babe?" Deacon asked as Rayna snuggled in closer to him.

She was quiet for a moment.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Rayna let out a sigh. "Nothing...it's...you've got lots to focus on."

Deacon shifted next to her, grunting as pain washed across his abdomen where the incision was still healing.

"Hey, don't hurt yourself," Rayna exclaimed. "Or I'm getting right out of this bed."

"What's going on, Ray?" he asked again. "I can tell there's something and it's not just me and Bev. You gotta tell me-we're in this together."

Rayna rolled onto her side so she could look at Deacon. "I didn't want to burden you with anything else while you're recovering and so worried about your sister."

"See, that's the thing, Rayna," Deacon started. "We share these things between us and then they aren't a burden. Cause we're dealing with it together. So, you need to tell me what's going on, cause I can tell it's something."

"Teddy was arrested. Night of your surgery. Caleb came to tell me about Beverly and when I turned around, Daphne was watching them walk him out of his office in City Hall in handcuffs on the TV," Rayna said quickly.

Deacon closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He opened them back up. "Oh, god, Ray-how are the girls handling it? And they didn't say anything when they came over here…"

Rayna shrugged. "Daphne is sure that he was falsely accused, that he did nothing wrong and Maddie won't talk about it. The one time I pushed her, she told me coldly that it didn't matter because he wasn't her dad."

"What does Teddy say?" Deacon asked.

"Nothing," Rayna said. "He pleaded not guilty and they moved him to the county lock-up. They set bail for him, but so far he hasn't posted it. I'm not sure why-he may not have the resources. But he won't talk to me and he won't see the girls."

"And the girls, why didn't they say anything when they were here," Deacon replied. "You should have told me."

"They wanted to see you and I just couldn't dump it on you right then. But, they're gonna need both of us now. They're hurting so much," Rayna answered.

"Anything else?" Deacon asked, slipping his hand into hers.

Rayna sighed.

"Ray?"

"Well, there is Juliette," Rayna admitted.

Deacon shook his head. "What's she done now?"

Rayna moved her hand up to his chest. "She's hurtin' something bad, Deacon. And she's not herself."

"What did she do?" he asked again.

"She took her masters, went to Luke, said she's leaving Highway 65. He's got her on the road with him. She fired Glenn. It feels like she's just running away from Avery and the baby. I think something's really wrong, but she won't answer my calls and now I got a buyout contract from Luke that I haven't even really looked at."

"Let her go," Deacon answered. "Let her be Luke's problem for a while. You've got enough on your plate."

"But she's messed up, depressed after the baby and…"

"Let her go, Ray," Deacon interrupted. "You can't fix everything and everybody in the world."

Rayna rolled onto her back, looking up at the ceiling. "I know."

"But you want to," Deacon responded.

"I do," Rayna echoed.

"You know we have a thing we say in the program," Deacon offered. "I think right now you need to call on the wisdom to know the difference between the things you can change and the things you can't. You need to focus on providing strength and comfort to the girls. We can both do that. We might just need to count on somebody else to fix things for Juliette."

Rayna nodded, her lip quivering.

"You're so good, so strong, Ray. And you've been carrying everyone else for so long. I can't wait to be up out of this bed and there so I can start to do that for you," Deacon said as he reached over for her. "Come here, let me hold you, best I can."

Rayna moved next to him, sliding easily into his embrace.

"I love you, Ray. And we're gonna get past all of this, we're gonna get married and we're gonna be a family. Forever."

"Always," Rayna responded.

"Always."

* * *

Thanks for the kind words on this little story. I think we're just looking at an epilogue to wrap it all up.


	4. Epilogue

"So, I'm gonna stay and we're alone?"

Rayna looked at Deacon, standing in front of her in their bedroom, a twinkle in his eye she hadn't seen for months. "Yes, we are alone."

Deacon began to pull up his shirt, inviting her to join him on the bed.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "Do you feel up to it?"

Deacon took her hand and pulled it toward him. "Yes, I definitely feel up to it. C'mon, we've been waiting a long time, for me to be feelin' better, Beverly doin' better...it's time for us, Ray."

Rayna gently pushed him back on the bed, then slid off her own shirt and crawled on top of him. Her fingers traced down the scar that marked his abdomen. His hand reached up to cover her own.

"Does it hurt?" she asked as she traced down the thin, red line.

Deacon shook his head. "It's a scar worthy of the battle we did to get here."

She reached down and loosened the button at the top of his jeans. He slid them off, then reached up and did the same for her. They slid under the sheets and joined together as they had before the surgery, before Beverly's coma, before everything happened that had been holding them apart.

Deacon's phone buzzed. But instead he pressed against her again, his arms around her, his mouth devouring hers.

Rayna's phone rang. She pulled him closer.

After everything, the world could wait for them. No matter what.

* * *

Rayna looked over at Deacon, his mouth clenched, his hands gripping the steering wheel of the truck as they headed back to the hospital. "What exactly did she say?"

Deacon shook his head. "Scarlett said it was sudden, Bev was talking to her, there was no warning. My god, Rayna, while we were…"

Rayna reached over and took Deacon's hand in hers. "I know, babe and we had no way of knowing and you have to believe that what we was doing had no relationship to what happened to Beverly."

Deacon pulled his hand from hers and put the car into park. He turned and looked at her. She could tell he was using everything he had to not start to cry. "I know, Ray. I know. But it doesn't make me feel any less responsible."

Rayna took her seatbelt off and leaned across the seat to kiss him. "Let's go see what's going on," she said as they ended the kiss. "Then we'll figure out what to do next."

* * *

Deacon walked up the steps to the bedroom he shared with Rayna, each step slower than the one before it. Finally he reached the door, pausing for a moment, before he turned and knob and pushed it open.

"Ray?" he asked as he walked in. He could see her body in the bed, her back to the door. "You asleep?"

He sat down on the bench at the end of the bed and pulled off his boots. It was late and he should let her sleep, but he really needed her tonight. He couldn't believe what Scarlett had decided, that she was going to end life support and let Beverly die.

Rayna stayed silent as he pulled off his clothes and crawled into bed next to her. He slipped his arm around her and felt her choke back a sob.

"What's the matter, Ray?" he asked as he pulled his body close behind hers.

"Everything," she said, her voice breaking.

"Tell me," he said, holding her in his arms.

"I took the girls to see Teddy. It was awful. They were awful. They came home and started tearing up our photo albums, and I know it's hard for you because those years I was with him were the years we were apart and it's just breaking my heart to see him like this, to see them just throwing away their love for their father."

Deacon lay behind her, his arms pulling her closer still.

"Don't let them throw away family. You just don't know…" His voice broke as he started to cry.

Rayna slid from his arms. "Deacon, what…"

He shook his head, brushing away the tears that would not stop falling from his eyes. "She's...she's…"

Rayna pulled him to her, his head tucked to her breast. She smoothed her hand down his hair, comforting him. "Oh babe, babe," she repeated.

Deacon pushed himself up next to her and took a deep breath. "I know it's her decision, but I just can't understand why she's doin' it."

"Scarlett?" Rayna asked.

Deacon nodded. "Tomorrow at noon. She's gonna do it, tomorrow at noon."

They sat, for a long time, in each other's arms.

"You should take the girls back to see Teddy, try to make things right between them," Deacon finally said. "Just think if I hadn't had these past few days with Bev, if we hadn't aired out some of that stuff that we kept between us for so many years."

Rayna nodded. "And I am grateful to him. I know he's made some mistakes, and lately a lot of them, but he was a good husband and a good father. He made the best of a tough situation for a long time."

"I know why Scarlett thinks this is the right thing, but Ray, I don't think I be there to see it happen. She...she gave her life for me. That isn't what I asked for, I never would have asked for that," Deacon said, his voice breaking again.

Rayna pulled him close again, hoping that somehow, someway, she could make this better for him. And maybe she could make it better or maybe all that she could do was to be there, for him, with him.

Always


End file.
